I wrote a friend this morning about a film I thought her family might like. As one does, I linked to the International Movie Data Base site and a couple of good reviews. Then I went to make cup of tea.
In the kitchen, it struck me that I probably went to fewer then 10 movies as a child, at least through junior high. I remember seeing Bambi and Cinderella and probably other Disney films. I remember seeing Carousel with my mom when it came out. There must have been more. But not many.
Each opportunity to go to the movies was exciting. And you ate as much candy as you were allowed. But that was it. You saw it and it was over. There was no going back to it.
Our astonishing access to films has reshaped our culture—for better or worse. The most awful films stream through Netflix or beckon from Redbox kiosks on every other corner. Have you watched parents choosing violent films far too late in the evening, with little kids dangling sleepily over the shopping cart? Don’t you want to run over and shout: Get those kids home, to bed, please, and don’t show that horrible thing in your house!
But think of times we pull out the most glorious films for our family? Classics, musicals, vintage comedy. Beginning with the VHS cornucopia at Blockbuster Video down to today’s technology, it’s all suddenly there! I don’t have much time for movies, but I frequently use the possibility of watching wonderful film as mental promise to myself—rarely realized, but sweet to contemplate. Do you do that too?
Raising our kids, films became members of our household. Mary Martin and Julie Andrews lived in our den. The first English sentence our daughter (adopted in Russia at age six) actually spoke was: “Just you wait, Henry Higgins, Just you wait.” She had a proper Cockney accent to boot!
Like so many things, today’s instant accessibility to film is a double-edged sword. It can be used for good or ill. It’s hard for parents to control the force of it, and yet its influence cannot be avoided. How best to handled it?
I’d like to tell you I have an easy solution, but I don’t. Family involvement is critical: pre-screening where appropriate, prepping the material, and watching together are key strategies. (They do take time, yes). Online discussion groups can help parents, too.
Lively family discussions as to the merits of a film (before and after viewing) can be invaluable. Such occasions fall into the same tradition of discussing literature or politics around the dinner table.
Older kids in particular may gain by watching the “director’s cuts.” These running narratives above of the film reveal the logistical and technical issues affecting the movie. This kind of “workman’s knowledge” helps break the unwanted psychological spell some films can cast over our kids. After all, film is an art form affected by troubled budgets, broken equipment, missing catering trucks, and “diva” temperaments.
Above all, parents have to set the standard. They must choose good films, and approach them intelligently. Explain clearly to kids why some things are fine for adults, but not for children. This is confusing for kids. Try to find examples of this distinction in other realms of life, and there are plenty. Know that it can be a slippery slope.
Well, all of that from one email and a cup of tea! I’m not a film critic, that’s for sure. But film has been meaningful in my life, and surely our kids are hit far harder by film’s influence. So we need to make sure that film’s influence is for good, for truth, and for beauty, whenever possible.
